Yesterday

Yesterday began MUCH earlier than I expected. 4am to be precise. My phone rang. It did indeed wake me up. It does not USUALLY ring at such an hour. So, I looked at the caller id and made the sinking decision to answer it. It was the young man I sponsor. 4 am phone calls are never good. Not as bad as I expected though. The *I've gone back out* call would have resulted in *Then call me when you're sober* but instead I heard an unintelligible string of and tears. Apparently, he went to a nasty place in his memory where his life was pretty much shit and he was being abused. Then to make it worse, he kept trying to tell himself it didn't really happen. Understandable, but not terribly useful. It was remarkably like talking to someone on acid. I was more than certain that he was still in whatever place he had gone to and couldn't get back yet. It was kinda scary. I briefly entertained the idea of driving to his house, but I knew he was not alone. Although what his lover thought of this turn of events is anyone's guess. He has not spoken of it. So, I talked to him until he seemed more lucid. And told him to eat and drink some water. Possibly not the most creative of ideas but it was 4 fucking o'clock in the morning.
So, being a somewhat normal person, I made some decisions (after having gone back to sleep until the sun was up) and did my sitting and went to yoga class and showered and called some folks before I made any attempt to talk to him again. My biggest concern is causing more harm. I had some people say things like *he's so damaged that you can't possibly cause more harm.* I don't believe that. If I reinforce what he has already learned from life then, I think I could actually do more harm. I don't think that being honest and expecting honesty from him is harmful. Painful for him, yes. But, harmful? No.
After I saw him and assured myself that he was this side of sane (just) I proceeded to get ready for our Lughnasadh Ritual. It was small and lovely. Not too sure my trance was the best, but, if nothing needs work, I'm ready for the grave. We had 2 new people and the old people. A woman who has been looking for Reclaiming in Pittsburgh for a year. We've been out there since 2003! Everything in its own time. Funny how we're so hard to find. I remember when I was looking and finding nothing. Cause there was nothing. So, we started something. Now, at least, there are folks to find. And we're listed on the website for crying out loud! We have contact numbers and email and a yahoo group that always answers queries. I know, cause I answer them. AND, we're listed on Witchvox as a group and events are listed. So, anyway, that's my rant.
And then, after the ritual we went out for coffee and I didn't get home til late. Now, it is today. Not quite such a crush of activites but plenty to do, nonethe less. So, I'm off to do stuff.